Personal Security Officers....

Our netas and them sarkaari hakims have no shame when it comes to looting the national coffer soffer ...for their personal benefit senefit ni! Our dailies report that more than 3,000 personal security officers have been deployed for them ex-mantris, sarkaari hakims ani thekey-daar ruh byapari haroo lai pani rey!

And when you add them salaries, kay kay bhatta-satta... annual bill sill chahi 40 crores !Wah rey... it's good tyam for our chors ... hami lai chai security chaina ... yee mora haroo chahi hami lay kawr (tax) tirey ko paisa lay moaz masti gardai chan!

It's not that we don't have them law saw .... the law was not made for them 'thulo mancheys' ... it was made for stupid jantas like us kya! Uni haroo lay jay garey pani hooncha kya!

According to them so-called regulations, the state provides them thulo mancheys with them police-wallahs for a certain period of tyam rey! But then ... our netas forget rey... and they keep them government vehicles, guards and what not .. afnai bau ko sampati jastai!

Janta lai bewakoof banau-ney kaam.. hamro agaadi fight sight garya jastai garchan.. vitra vitra tuh sabai miley ruh nai baschan ni! Jati loot-no cha loot-noos... tapai haroo kai khaney bhado ho .. yo 'Nepal' tuh!

Our former home ministers get to keep them security guards for three years! Now let us run through the list cyst.... Govinda Raj Joshi, the ghoos khori #1 from the Congressis still has two security guards rey!

Ani hamro Kamal Thapa dai sangaw pani 2-3 wata guard suard haroo! Aroo ko tuh kay naam liney... when was the last tyam Joshi and Thapa were home ministers?

Let us not forget asti ko home minister, Bhimay Rawal aka 'Rawan' ... gaadi pani pach-kai halyo .. ajhai sarkari gaadi ma private number haaley ruh .. ani police guards haroo pani tuh Sir lay paa-yee halcha ni...

Jo Jo ... yo 10-15 barsa ma home minister bhaye sabai ko ghar ma ahiley pani police-wallah haroo lay paaley ko kaam gardai chan rey! Lau hai... badhai cha... yesari nai ho 'Naya' Nepal ko bikash garney!

Let us not only blame our home ministers, even them ex-ministers ruh retired bhayee sakey-ka sarkaari hakim haroo lai pani free security paid for by the Nepali Janta! Hoo-da hoo-da... even them Nepal police ko ration thekka-patta garney sahuji ko ghar ma pani police ko guard haroo rey!

Sabi bhanda funny tuh , Congressi ko pala ko mantri dekhi UML hoodai, Gyanu Uncle ko bela ko mantri haroo lai pani security rey! Tyo pani na pugeruh... hamro last Rana pradhan-mantri ko naati lai pani security!

Hoo-naw tuh uslai mantri bhaye-ruh dey-ko holan taruh.. Rana Saa-shun dekhi ahiley ko Hawa Saa-shun ko sabai lai security ho ki kya ho? Yestai ho bhaney baroo Bhimsen Thapa ko khalak dekhi Kalu Pandey ko naati lai pani guard shard diye hooncha ni!

Why the @#$! does Pashupati SJB Rana need them police security? He is married to them 'Desi' Princess... he can afford to hire them personal security guards ni! Khoi... them 'House of Scindias' lay kehi pani diye nah hamro 'Nati General' lai.. biha siha ma? Oxford Socks-ford paw-dey pachi ali buddhi aunoo parney ho ni?

It's not that these assholes can't afford them gaadis and guards! fokatey ma loot-nay baani bhaako haroo lai ... kay ko laaz saaz! Abuh hamro prime-monster haroo nai chor bhaye pachi, aroo lai tuh jhan kay gaali garney?

Sher B. Deuba, Prachandey dai, Makune... thank God GP is dead.. or else he would also be riding them 'Melamchi' ko project ko laagi kiney ko gaadi ni!

Abuh khoi kasley protest straw-test garney ni? Give our '3Gs' back ...bhaney ruh rally sally garnoo parla... 3Gs bhaney ko Gaadi, Guards ruh Ghoos ni!

Abuh gaadi ruh police wallah chai dey-laan.. ghoos shoos tuh kay ko firta ni.. sabai jagga ma invest garya holan.. jagga ko vow khattam cha rey kay aaj kal!

Yestai ho bhaney tuh... maybe we should also be allowed to have one 'Nepal police' ko guard... hami sabai jana ko ghar ma! Baroo usko taw-lob, bhatta hami nai tir-dim la ni! Feri.. moro lay ghar ma nai daaka daal-dyo bhaney arko aah-pawt... haha!

When Obama walks out of the White House... he will get them 2 secret service agents.. tyo pani only for 10 years rey! Hamro desh ma chahi... Kamal Thapa will still get 3 police wallahs till he is 80! And Kamal dai is not even our President sresident.. he is now ... like ... 'Bring back Lord Vishnu or die' movement ko khiladi #1!

And we know Kamal dai will live till 80.. or even 90 because he plays tennis everyday kya And he is them national champion pani.. 55+ haroo ma! I don't know much about Prachandey dai... I think he only reads Mahabharat and plays 'Ludo' hola.. and drinks like 7-8 pegs of them 'Black Label' stuff rey.. khoi uha ko health report chahi tha-ha-bhaye naw hai!

Lau hai.. sabai jana jau Sato-Bato ma... tennis khel-naw ... Kamal dai sangaw .. baroo kehi paryo bhaney uha ko personal security officers haroo cha dai cha ni.. hahah!

Leave Tourism?

It's good to be them civil servants in 'New' Nepal kyaaruh! The Ministry of Tourism and Civil Aviation (MoTCA) is coming out with this so-called 'new' concept ...'leave tourism' to promote domestic tourism for them civil servants rey!

This is what happens when our civil servants still use them 1960 ko 'english dictionary' kya! Baroo 'tourism leave' bhaney raw hamro chor sarkaari karmachaari lai bida-sida bhaney pani hoonthyo ni!

Hamro civil servants lai motivation cha-hiyo bhaney baroo.. hami sabai milay-raw ek dui laat hanyo bhaney chahi thik thau ma aucha ki? I think Devi Prasad Regmi should go on a 'slapping tour' across the country! For each slap.. we will donate Rs 1,000 ni baroo... tyo paisa lay desh ko bato ghato baw-naam naw .. hoinuh?

100 employees from 'Tourism' and other 10 ministries ko civil servants haroo will be traveling around Nepal rey! Ani yo naya scheme anoosar, an employee can take one family member on this 'trip' ani vehicles and other perks will be given according to their ranks rey!

How come .. we don't get that kind of a 'deal' from our government ni? We are paying for them water, electricity, cell phone bills and we don't get no water, load shedding for 18hrs and you need to be 'in line with the heavens' if you want a better cell phone reception kya!

The ministry has allocated Rs 3 million for this project. And as usual, we the 'taxpayers' will be footing their bill sill ni! We don't have them schools, health posts and what not in them villages... baroo tyo paisa lay euta gau ma kehi bikash gar-naw milcha ki?

It's good to be a sarkaari karmachariz... you get paid for 'ghaam-taaping' and you work from 11 am to 3 pm (2-3 ghanta tuh khaja ruh guff ma nai bitcha ni!), get all them bhatta-satta and now you get to travel fokatey maa ...as well!

Why not send our civil servants to them rural areas and make them work ni baroo.... World Food Programme (WFP) ko work for food bhanya jastai... send our civil servants to Dolpa and only pay their salaries when they come back a year later , after building them schools, health posts and bato ghato kya!

Our netas only worry about them ministries (kaha paisa khaanuh paam!) ... our civil servants worry about their bhatta-satta ani posting sosting and they spend all them office tyam , kissing them netas' arses!

Ani... hami chahi... we are busy coordinating them load shedding schedule with our paani ko schedule.. yeta oota gardai din bitcha... abuh tyehi 'thulo' bhooi-chaalo lai nai parkhim (due any tyam soon rey!)... sabai bhawt-key pachi ... hami sabai ko baroo coordination ali milcha ki?

Not Safe in Jail....

Yunus Ansari is in jail for 'nakkali' notes and drug srug byapar! And he has to thank his father, Salim Miya Ansari, former minister for all them cash to start them television company!

And them Indian hit-men haroo... have it easy in Kathmandu! They whacked Jamim Shah, (arko media tycoon) in broad daylight ... tyo pani .. Lazimpat ko jaam ma! And our Nepal police have no clue ... I think they should start reading them 'Agatha Christie' ko novel sovel haroo!

I don't know ... but Nepal ma ... yee sabai dui numberi (No.2) haroo kinnuh media business ma laag-chan? Khoi.. chor haroo lai pani kay kay soakh hoonay ho?

Central jail .. is like Nepal ko sabai bhanda thulo jail sail! How the @#$! did this Indian guy bring a pistol inside the jail and then fired at Ansari ? Yes, Ansari is a crook but hamro Nepali police will win the 'biggest crook' award! Abuh jail ma pani security chaina... kaha chai gaye-raw looknay ni hamra goonda haroo?

Our gangsters like to go to jail because they don't have to worry about getting shot in Lazimpat... but now.. they better wear them 'bullet-proof' jackets ni! Jasjeet Singh... hid them pistol in his undies rey and he was meeting Charles Sobhraj rey and then he saw Yunus and then took out his gun and fired at him rey!

I guess them security folks just check your pockets hola ni! Or maybe Jasjeet has a big schlong and the pistol couldn't be found when our police bhai did them body-search hola ni!

Yunus Ansari got hit in his arm sarm... he is doing okay! Jasjeet Singh (I hope that's his real name!) is drinking chiya and boasting about his 'natak' and our Nepal police has transferred 50 cops from the Central jail ... ani sabai Sub-Inspector bhanda taluh ko maatrai!

Last tyam, when Jamim Shah was murdered... two police constables .. tyo Lazimpat ko police beat ma basney were fired kyaaruh! Nepal ma yestai ho... sano manchey haroo lay laat khancha, thulo manchey haroo chahi badel ruh bhaat.. hehe! The Home Minister should resign and kunai SSP ko jaagir khos-noo paryo ni!

Oops.. forgot that we don't have a 'Home' minister... hahah! And Nepal police are busy counting them cash from the local goondas that whenever shit happens... they either fire or transfer them police wallahs here and there!

And Jasjeet Singh wins the award for 'dumb hit-man' of the year hola! He was offered 1.5 million Indian rupees rey! I think he was offered more... 10 million hola.. or else he is a very stupid hit-man, trying to shoot somebody inside them jail sail!

Ansari's dad blames them RAW saw, Indian Embassy and them Lucknow gangsters! Yes, Salim Ansari is right! Them Indian police, gangsters and sadhus can come to Nepal and do their thing and our government doesn't care!

Salim is a big daku, his son is a big-tyam drug dealer but when you play with them 'nakkali' Indian notes then of course.. them Indians will be worried ni! And when our Nepal Police, netas and government officials are for sale... then it's not that hard for them Desis to fly to Kathmandu, hang around for a month or two and kill a Nepali citizen!

Moral of the story ... chai.. don't deal in fake Indian note sote... or else them Desis will come to Kathmandu and finish you off kya! Baroo... go West... I mean.. how about them Amriki bills kya?

Don't worry.. them Amrikans will not come to the city and shoot you, they will probably take you all the way to Amrika (fly like a G6... myan!) and you can eat them mashed potatoes and maybe improve your 'accent' sack-cent pani! Desi ko haat batuh marnoo bhanda tuh Amriki TV show hare-noo nai jaati ni .. hoinuh ruh?