Happy New Year!

Aaaaicch... Blog slog na-lay-khay-ko pani 4 mahina bhayecha.... so Happy New Year (both Angrez-wallah and Nayapaali as well) to all of you and your pariwar haroo!

What else is new? GPK is dead... Long Live the 'great' Hawaldaar Bajey.... and with due respect to all the Hawaldaars in the Police Force and to our priestly class as well! I am not going to miss him. I was just discovering 'how to play all by yourself and still have fun' when this man suddenly popped up in Kathmandu and then had all the fun like them kids @ a candy store!

We can all talk about all them scams and what not but today... I would like to honor this fella ... well , like everything else in my life... I am late as usual but who cares? I don't.. so let's get started!

GPK was a Maoist even before our Maoist .... ,it's like this guy was a metro-setro sexual even before some Jewish guy working for a fashion magazine came up with that term. I don't know why I am blaming a Jew.... I don't live in them Middle East but them Hasidic-Jew-ni haroo ko seto anuhaar ra laamo laamo jaama lay mero heart-rate nikkai badau-thyo tyo jawanama jaba ma Brookly ma euta Chinese fashion label ma kaam garthay..... No I was not a designer, Prabal Gurung is good at that.. I spent my three months, eating 'Free Chicken-Lai' before Mr. Lee figured out that I was never good at selling his Chinese Jeans to some Mr. Tebow in South Dakota!

Let's get back to GPK! GPK is the granddaddy of them Maoists. We have to thank our comrades for blowing all them bridges, schools and towers and whatever and not to forget them looting and shooting... but GPK and his friends hijacked a plane (back in them days) and made off with 30 million Rupees (tyeti bela ko!).... Now that's what we call the 'Godfatherly Kaam'.... Chornoo nai cha bhaney ekai choti karod sarod chornay ni, bekkar ma 10-20 lakh chordai , bank sank padkaunay kina?

And the Maoists couldn't top him with their natak because GPK had already managed to run (R)NAC to the ground ... aba plane slane nai chaina kaha bata hijack garthyo tuh.....

Sheet.... I thought I could do a 8,000 words ko tribute thing but I have to run now... no, I don't do 'midnight jog' anymore.. it's not safe in Nepal... Raati tuh chor bhanda pani Nepal ko Police sanga darau-noo parcha.... It's my day to make some coffee soffee for the family... tyaspachi kukoor lai bathroom break ma lanchoo, ani euta churot tannchu ani facebook ma mafia wars khelchu....

BTW, Sashi bro should have stayed back in NY with his UN kaam ........ India ko Politics ma twitting switting kaam chaina..... Laloo salloo haroo lay Tharoor jasto lai tuh Thooorrrooooo kamaidincha ni!

Good night.... God bless and let's wait until end of May ... for our new Constitution... hehehe... now tyasko barey ma tuh koora garna baaki nai chaa... luh paani umliyo.. 4-5 cup coffee banaunoo parcha,.... ghar ma pani tuh roundtable discussion hooncha ni!

3 day 'Climate Change' protest?

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year .... everyone!

Our Maocummies are @ it again! 3 day shut down against this 'climate change' naatak! Kopan-Hay-Gun ko natak pugyo aba hamro Prachandu Uncle ko chamcha haroo ko maha-naatak hare-noo- baaki cha!

I am getting used to all them bandas, chakka-jaam, zoo-loo-s stuff. I even walk from Jawlakhel to Thamel during them banda days. My best tyam so far has been 1:04:32 ..... that was when I was walking in the middle of the street from Jawlakhel ko micro-bus-stand ... all the way to Thamel!

And if tomorrow is the beginning of the 3 day banda then I will have to start warming up tonight! Mao Inc. is probably the only 'green' party in Nepal! Hamro desh lay carbon credit ho ki kay ko credit bata aunay paisa Mao dai haroo lai nai deee-A-hooncha ni!

For the Maoists, climate pakkai pani change bhayeko cha! Hamro Uncle Prachoo thought he had 51% of back-force (nepali gangsta word!) with him but then he found out everybody else just made a U-turn ... after all koorchi ko laagi, afnai aama-baaba bechnay neta haroo kay bharosa?

And I really like Prachoo Uncle's "Tero Bau" ... or is it "Tyasko Bau Lay" speeches. Have you heard them? I guess it's similar to them 'Yo Mamma' jokes ... amriki style!

2009 has been really bad for me! Tole ma batti halnay kaam, bato safa garnay kaam, fohor uthaunay kaam garda pani t-e-e-n choti mamaghar pugiyo! Okay, I should not have punched the local don, should not have slapped Khane pani ko engineer and could have prevented myself from pushing nagarpalika ko karmachari for not taking away the bato ko trash!

And all them three hero-hira-laal happen to be card-carrying members of the Mao Inc.... thank Allah, I didn't get my balls fried by our local YCL brothers. It helps when the local commander is your former Fency-deal (tyo jamana ko 'Red Bull' hehehe!) partner!

Getting old, things have changed .... now why the hell am I remembering tyo Bobby Die-Lawn ko geet..... Yo desh ma kasailay kasai-lye nuh-tare-nay- bhayo Prabhu.... now I am thinking of them crazy Prabhu Deva dance moves.... multiple-personality disorder bhaneko yehi nai hola!

Manchey hidnay sidewalk ma motorbike koodau-n-cha gadha haroo.. And I stopped the bike and said "What the @#$! are you doing?" and the new nepal ko Hero replies , "Tero Aankha chaina, saaley.... bike ko agaadi kina aucha paagal"

I wanted to punch him in the face.... but then I thought... 1 barsa ma chaar choti mamaghar gayo bhaney... mero bau lay malai ghar baata nikali-dincha... ani Prachoo Uncle will say , "Tyasko Bau lay tyas lai ghar bata nikaaley-cha"

Long Live Comrade Prachanda and let's all walk (next three days ko laagi!) all the way to Hell!

I have no idea .. about today's guff! I need some pepto-bismal.... nepal ma tuh digene lay nai kaam chalaunoo parla!

New Years Resolutions!

My New Years Resolutions (Nepal Sambat!)

1. Stop swearing like a sailor ... finally realized that Nepal does not have a NAVY!

2. Stop smoking like a chimney ... start chewing mittha paan!

3. Stop complaining about everything .... tension leney... ka nahi deney kaa!

4. Start using public transportation more often ... save money ... to buy more paan!

5. Start watching Kollywood movies ... not them new-gen stuff (even if Namrata's 'Ice Cream' video is the current Box Office Hit!)... but them usual masala-mix 80s Bollywood love-tragedy-fight-sight copy-cat stuff!

6. Eat more veggies ...and act like I am offended by non-veggie jokes!

7. Stop eating out... eat in .. Mom's cooking is always the best!

8. Stop worrying about finding the right one... leave it to destiny or one of them Destiny's Child... Saaley Bhaatey Jay-Z!

9. Stop talking shit about Abhishekh's wife just because I think Sushmita Sen has more oooomph!

10.Stop talking about "French" Revolution and start talking about French Skin-lotion!This is what happens when you drink vodka-beer-kodo-tongba-chyaang ... all mixed together!

And I forgot to add the #11 ... final one before the world ends (2012 here we come!).... Einstein Chor... all my life I really thought imagination was more important than knowledge... now I just want mo' knowledge ... maybe I should memorize Ka...ma Sutra by heart?

Oh! God..... I need some Prozac!