Monday, May 24, 2010

United for Unity!


The 'Unity' natak is finally out in the open... but our government doesn't seem to care! I am not really good at analogies but I guess it's like the cops not closing down the brothel because they get their weekly haftas! Well, the government has finally decided to shut down the so-called 'ponzi' scheme nataks but I guess it's too late now!

More than 300,000 + innocent, hardworking villagers have been duped by the so-called 'Unity' company. According to KGB (Kukhurachor Guptachar Bivag), more than 60 million US$ is now out of the country! And our political parties received more than 10% ... as political contributions and what not! Maybe that's why our leaders are quiet and not shooting their mouth off!

If the Maoists were so pro-people then it's about time, they mobilize their 'YCLs' to find them masterminds and maybe help these innocent villagers. But of course, that's not going to happen... even our government officials are doing their best to 'not' find the honchos and we all know the real story! Everybody made something.... Unity would not have survived by flouting all so-called banking and insurance regulations for this long without greasing the palms of politicians and sarkaari hakims!

Every year, our political parties just share the so-called development budget for their own cadres and bhanja-bhatijas.... who's going to stop them? Maybe, we need some super-hero/hero-nis.... abuh Kick-Ass (the movie) jastai super-warrior haroo ko khaacho cha Nepal maa!

Gyanu Uncle is visiting religious sites once again. Kamal Thapa is busy hob-knob-ing with Indian Hindu leaders. Prachanda is still wondering what went wrong. Makune is still clinging to the PM chair but doesn't realize that all the so-called democratic forces are now like them people in the Titanic. They are hoping the so-called 'Prajantara' ship will somehow not sink.

And back to the Unity Story.... this is probably the only country in the world where for a corore Rupees, you get access to Nepal's high & mighty! But if we read the British tabloids then I guess it's the same all around the world.... even our Fergie Duchy (Prince Andrew ko ex-budi!) can get you access to the British Royal Family for few quids and then what... maybe sell a million cases of titaura in the UK!

It's all about the money.... the Maoists won't be planning another 6-day long shutdown anytime soon because then they will need another million dollars. Maybe the Unity guys can pitch in.... I hope they still have some change left! Unity ko tau-key haroo lay janya bhayeh tuh euta political party kholay hoonthyo-ni... being a political party cadre is like having a diplomatic passport... get all the imm(unity) u can!

So next time, if somebody offers you a 100% money back deal with 50% interest, 5 lakhs life insurance and 1 lakh medical coverage for only Rs 15,000.00 then just kick his ass and get the hell out of there! I don't think them 300,000 + folks will get their money back. Hamro neta , police, sarkari haakim haroo nai sabai chor bhayepachi, arko chor lai samau-laa ruh?

And the World Cup is finally here.... our leaders better get their shit ready before that because then it's a one month shutdown by all soccer-lovers! Jati banda sanda, daang doong garey pani choo matlab? Hami tuh sabai Worldcup ma busy hoonchau... ani Unity ko koora pani haruacha, Constitution sonstitution Goli maaro... that's how life goes on and on in Nepal!

Our dear leaders have raped our country over and over again but we are alway silent! Was expecting a French Revolution to happen .... now finally found out that even the Maoists can't solve anything... 2012 ma world khattam bha-ye-nuh bhaney, hamro future tyeti bright chaina yaar! Ramailo lai I am betting my few quids on North Korea to win the World Cup!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Happy Labor Day!


Happy Labor Day.. everyone! We should thank our Maoist Cumraids for organizing a 'Red Carnival' with all them nautanki speeches by Prachu Uncle & the gang! I understand 'Red' is them communist color but them Thais Red-shirts have already reserved the color for their street protests! Well, our leaders have never been creative .... maybe if we had some advertising folks then they could have done wonders with all them color schemes and what not!

Our Maoists talk about nationalism and all them 'Desh Bhakti' natak but then they have them Russian and Chinese jackasses on their wall! If you want to be a Communist then be like Uncle Fidel. Well, thousands of Cubans still swim all the way to Miami every year but I hear they have the best education and health care system compared to all them Latin American countries!

And let's get rid of the 'red' stuff... Unless Makune decides to ask Spain for 10,000 Bulls and let them loose in Kathmandu! Where is them creativity? I think their 'Silver' color stuff was better! Maybe all them hot comrade-nis can do some body-paint suff (all silver) and give us something to join their 'song and dance' routine!

Yes, I am all for minimum wage, labor rights and what not but what the Maoists have introduced in Nepal is even worse than them Frenchies! France ma tuh Frenchie haroo work only 35 hours a week and then drink, sleep (with others' wives) and eat for the next 100+hours a week! But Nepal maa chai, we now have a 'hiring but no firing' policy!

A month or so ago, some guy got hired @ Summit ho ki Greenwich Hotel and then they found out that he was just another kaam-chor (kaamraid). They fired him and the next day 40+ Maoist trade union folks threatened to shut down the hotel! Good job guys.... u want to fight for one lazy ass bum but what about the other 50+ employees?

And the richest man in town is not Wai Wai Chow-dhary but that Maoist Trade Union leader, Mr. Salik Ram Jamma Cut-tail. Have u seen this guy? His face is about to explode... thanks to them 5-star hotel ko khaana! I hear he already has 50 corore Rupees invested in prime properties in Kathmandu! Congratulations Mr. Cut-tail... hope your biwi and kids will have a better life!

And who said.. u have to go to Amrika to have a better life? Our local Maoist commander is now in Baluwa-thekka... Two years ago, we used to meet for coffee guff-suff, now he has a nice ride and only drinks coffee @ Hotel Himalaya! Jungle ma wai wai khaaney manchey aba Wai Wai nakhaaney rey... maybe next tyam we should take them out to some Italian Restoo-raaant... Italian chowmein (Spaghetti) khaanuh!

Hope our out-of-towners enjoy Kathmandu and the 'don't know how long' Red Carnival festival will last! Hope they don't get sick with hamro Kathmandu ko paani and baasi khanuh and all them pollution. Baroo gau ma nai batti satti , suddha paani, taajha khana pau-thyo ni!